Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
NZRizing
So my short reign as Nezzar is over. Time for blogging... :)
I'm currently sitting at my home home, I'm listening to Madagascar soundtrack (I like to move it move it .. oh yeah) and get crap pounded out of my back by my sister --- ah yes, this is the life.
Yep, so now that the play is over, apparently my life is supposed to turn back to some sort of normalcy. Ha, that's a good one. Say goodbye to the play, and say hello an abundance of papers and reading. :) Yeah for also being an english honours major.
The play went really well which was a huge blessing from God. It was richly rewarding to find that the school accepted and applauded our work so profoundly. I mean, I think the work would have been rewarding either way, but it could have been more frustrating had the school body not understood the work we did. But God finally showed me my purpose in choosing the mainstage over the independant .... I mean, I knew I was supposed to do the mainstage and that I made the right choice to work with Tom and the cast, but it was hard when all the rest of my friends were working on a very comical fun show together and I couldn't be apart of that... and I could have, had I just told them that I would. I often times felt a little punished for making the right decision. But this week, I felt happier about the show than I ever have before. It was an amazing run and I won't forget it for a long time. God is truly good. I just need to trust Him a little more. :)
Anyways, I have to get ready to go to church-in-the-box. Oh yeah, I sent out my application for LA film school. So now I get to experience the joy of waiting, and waiting.....woot.
Cheers.
I'm currently sitting at my home home, I'm listening to Madagascar soundtrack (I like to move it move it .. oh yeah) and get crap pounded out of my back by my sister --- ah yes, this is the life.
Yep, so now that the play is over, apparently my life is supposed to turn back to some sort of normalcy. Ha, that's a good one. Say goodbye to the play, and say hello an abundance of papers and reading. :) Yeah for also being an english honours major.
The play went really well which was a huge blessing from God. It was richly rewarding to find that the school accepted and applauded our work so profoundly. I mean, I think the work would have been rewarding either way, but it could have been more frustrating had the school body not understood the work we did. But God finally showed me my purpose in choosing the mainstage over the independant .... I mean, I knew I was supposed to do the mainstage and that I made the right choice to work with Tom and the cast, but it was hard when all the rest of my friends were working on a very comical fun show together and I couldn't be apart of that... and I could have, had I just told them that I would. I often times felt a little punished for making the right decision. But this week, I felt happier about the show than I ever have before. It was an amazing run and I won't forget it for a long time. God is truly good. I just need to trust Him a little more. :)
Anyways, I have to get ready to go to church-in-the-box. Oh yeah, I sent out my application for LA film school. So now I get to experience the joy of waiting, and waiting.....woot.
Cheers.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Saturday, February 11, 2006
My life today
Lord of the Rings -- you make me happy and rather emotional.
Rehearsal -- you make me very tired.
Reformational Theology -- you make me want to roll over and die.
Rehearsal -- you make me very tired.
Reformational Theology -- you make me want to roll over and die.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
yummm....... food and phlegm
I love family. I just spent less than a day with my family and even though the time was short... it was great. It was my neice's baptism today so I went home last night and hung out with my family doing very little other than sitting and talking ... but I loved every minute of it. My brother was up from Jersey so that was great. It's always fun seeing him and wowing over all his toys... UNBELIEVABLE some of the stuff that he has (you should see his car... handydandy features on that thing). The baptism was very nice.... and the party afterwards was also lots of fun, if a little... shall we say.. chaotic. This is what happens when you brother-in-law's family has 10 little kids running around! :) But they were cute. It was nice to just hang out with family members.. takes the stress off of school.
And now I've been coarsed into watching the Superbowl. Let me tell you what game I care about least..... FOOTBALL. Let me tell you what I actually should be working on: HOMEWORK. Will I be able to do both??? No. Will I enjoy the food? YES. Oh yes. And the company. Of course the company.
I also got blessed with a cold this morning. I'm kind of glad because I've been feeling kind of gross for a little bit... but it's never become a full-fledged cold. And now it is. Let the people rejoice.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I get to go get my ears blasted off by surround sound... of football. Oh my life is so good.
And now I've been coarsed into watching the Superbowl. Let me tell you what game I care about least..... FOOTBALL. Let me tell you what I actually should be working on: HOMEWORK. Will I be able to do both??? No. Will I enjoy the food? YES. Oh yes. And the company. Of course the company.
I also got blessed with a cold this morning. I'm kind of glad because I've been feeling kind of gross for a little bit... but it's never become a full-fledged cold. And now it is. Let the people rejoice.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I get to go get my ears blasted off by surround sound... of football. Oh my life is so good.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Mouse Trap
Last night I got to witness the marriage of two people who have shown me what true love can really be like. Of course, I get this example from all of my older siblings, but I had yet to watch it bloom in any of my friends from Redeemer. I am very cynical when it comes to romantic love due to the terrible influence of chick flicks and our hollywoodized culture, but when I watch my friends Tasha and Danny, it gives me hope that there is such a thing as true love and that young people of our generation can still find it. Their wedding (which took place last night) was beautiful and in just being there, you couldn't help but be filled with joy for these two people and for the love that they shared. I was so happy to see two people that I admire, respect, and love get married. I also spent the evening talking to people who I hadn't seen in quite some time (for some it'd been 2 years!) so it was really great to catch up with familar faces.
And now on the completely opposite side of things, I am the newly designated #1 Mouse Catcher of the dorm!!!! Gold star for Stephanie! Okay, I kind of designated that title to myself but I did in fact catch a mouse! For a couple weeks now, our house has had the joy of entertaining another dormate.. Sir Thomas the mouse. Myself and my roomate Amy were the only ones who didn't really care about the new addition to our family... everyone else in the dorm was freaked out. We had tried to catch it a number of times, but he was soo tiny that he could hide virtually anywhere, and, well, our rooms aren't very tidy. But then Sir Thomas made the mistake of entering our (mine and Amy's) room.. I guess he thought that since we didn't really care about the thing our room would be rather safe. But he didn't count on the fact that I would be in there with nothing better to do then to hunt this thing down until he was trapped and then catch him. Because while I didn't really care about him, I also wasn't scared of him.. and I didn't want him making himself too comfortable. So that's what I did... I closed off the exit from the room, shooed him into the closet, blocked off his exit from there and trapped him! Of course the whole operation was a bit more complicated and time consuming.... but I caught Sir Thomas! We made a video of him, and then we let him go outside.. a good block away from our house. We spent the whole evening in celebration until about 2 in the morning.... when I then saw Sir Richard. And the fun continues..... anybody know how to set mouse traps?
And now on the completely opposite side of things, I am the newly designated #1 Mouse Catcher of the dorm!!!! Gold star for Stephanie! Okay, I kind of designated that title to myself but I did in fact catch a mouse! For a couple weeks now, our house has had the joy of entertaining another dormate.. Sir Thomas the mouse. Myself and my roomate Amy were the only ones who didn't really care about the new addition to our family... everyone else in the dorm was freaked out. We had tried to catch it a number of times, but he was soo tiny that he could hide virtually anywhere, and, well, our rooms aren't very tidy. But then Sir Thomas made the mistake of entering our (mine and Amy's) room.. I guess he thought that since we didn't really care about the thing our room would be rather safe. But he didn't count on the fact that I would be in there with nothing better to do then to hunt this thing down until he was trapped and then catch him. Because while I didn't really care about him, I also wasn't scared of him.. and I didn't want him making himself too comfortable. So that's what I did... I closed off the exit from the room, shooed him into the closet, blocked off his exit from there and trapped him! Of course the whole operation was a bit more complicated and time consuming.... but I caught Sir Thomas! We made a video of him, and then we let him go outside.. a good block away from our house. We spent the whole evening in celebration until about 2 in the morning.... when I then saw Sir Richard. And the fun continues..... anybody know how to set mouse traps?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Procrastination in my fingers
My ears are having a wonderful time slowly losing their hearing capabilities due to the fact that my roomate and I both need music on when we do work. Since neither of us enjoy warring music (we try to employ a peace-love mentality in our humble room), one of us has to give in and wear headphones. And now my ears get to be blasted by the melodic voice of Aqualung in order to drown out her music (which I can still hear through my headphones). mucho fabuloso.
So while this is going on, I am struggling to put my thoughts on paper about the differences between the book and the movie of Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien. Not only is this a hard enough task on it's own (oh you think it's easy until you actually sit down and try and do it), but to add to my trepedation, the prof of the class doesn't like my writing style. In fact I believe he ripped apart every paper I wrote for him last semester. Makes me very nervous to write anything for him. But he's a fabulous prof so that does make it better.
All of this leads to blogging -- my wonderful friend that always lends a helping hand when procrastination tugs at my brain and creeps into my fingers.
So my newest mission (when I have time to do them..... which is virtually never) is to learn the didgeridoo. I received a small Australian didgeridoo for Christmas from my sister (who recently just came back from Australia if you haven't been in the loop) and now it sits under my computer so that whenever I am sitting here typing at the compy it reminds me that I should keep plugging at how to play the darned thing. It's way harder than it looks. Or maybe it looks hard to begin with, I don't know. But learning how to play it is proving to be difficult, especially since I have very little time to do much of anything (except when I'm procrastinating!) except school. But one day, I will be a player of the didgeridoo. And I will hold concerts. Woot.
That's all for today.
So while this is going on, I am struggling to put my thoughts on paper about the differences between the book and the movie of Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien. Not only is this a hard enough task on it's own (oh you think it's easy until you actually sit down and try and do it), but to add to my trepedation, the prof of the class doesn't like my writing style. In fact I believe he ripped apart every paper I wrote for him last semester. Makes me very nervous to write anything for him. But he's a fabulous prof so that does make it better.
All of this leads to blogging -- my wonderful friend that always lends a helping hand when procrastination tugs at my brain and creeps into my fingers.
So my newest mission (when I have time to do them..... which is virtually never) is to learn the didgeridoo. I received a small Australian didgeridoo for Christmas from my sister (who recently just came back from Australia if you haven't been in the loop) and now it sits under my computer so that whenever I am sitting here typing at the compy it reminds me that I should keep plugging at how to play the darned thing. It's way harder than it looks. Or maybe it looks hard to begin with, I don't know. But learning how to play it is proving to be difficult, especially since I have very little time to do much of anything (except when I'm procrastinating!) except school. But one day, I will be a player of the didgeridoo. And I will hold concerts. Woot.
That's all for today.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Calvin and Hobbits
I truely have a love hate relationship with education. On the one hand, there is nothing better than learning. To be in an environment where there is such an emphasis on improving your intellect, stretching the mind, and delving into research and books etc. --- exploring the different facits of our world and our worldview. It's so exciting and it's an amazing place to be as a young adult trying to find your way in the world and where you fit in the equation. But while this is truely an exhilerating and stretching experience, it can take such a toll on your life. Let's take my current semester as an example. There are so many things about this semester that make me so excited to be in a learning environment. I'm taking three courses in my majors ... Playwriting, 20th Century British Literature, and the Literature of Lewis and Tolkien. I could not be happier! Each of these classes holds such interest for me that I yearn to eat up everything taught and just suck it all in. But with upper level classes come upper level workloads ---- reading galour, writing due every week, presentations up the ying yang. Since I hold such a high standard for myself and since I love each of these courses, I really want to do well... and so this means that I will be devoting myself to my studies. Okay, so far busy, but managable. But this semester I also have two other courses that I don't really care about ---- Reformational Theology and French. Oof. Okay, in defense of these classes, both of them are interesting, I'm glad for the opportunity to be taking them and in their own light, they are surely necessary, but they also eat up the time that I need for my upper classes that are in my majors -- what I'm here at Redeemer to study. Add on top of this that I am in the mainstage performance this semester -- which is called NZR.. it's a play that the performers (me included) are writing and acting based on the story of Nebuchadnezzar -- and that I am the TA for the English dept. as well as that I am the Editor-in-Chief of 'The Minstrel' -- Redeemer's Literary Magazine ....... and that, ladies and gents, is a deadly semester. This is why education and I have such a love hate relationship. I love to learn, so I lap up every opportunity I can.... but while I'm actually learning, I nearly kill myself trying to get everything done and my faith life suffers. I have some help this semester in that I'm helping write a play based on the Bible and I'm taking Ref. Theology... but education and the strain of deadlines and papers and presentations and the copius amounts of reading do not make for an easy faith life. I should push myself and put my priorities elsewhere... but that's extremely hard when in the environment.
Hmm... I wish I could expand on this more but I've spent too much time on this --- I should get back to my reading before people come back home and there's no silence in which to peacefully read. Oh how I love it when reading Lord of the Rings is homework....
Hmm... I wish I could expand on this more but I've spent too much time on this --- I should get back to my reading before people come back home and there's no silence in which to peacefully read. Oh how I love it when reading Lord of the Rings is homework....
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
new years.......
I guess it's time for me to come out from hiding and write a blog.
Well ---- here I am. It's a new year and no, this isn't one of my new year's resolutions. :) I'm home for the holidays and spending time with family is wonderful. I think it's one of the few places where I feel completely comfortable and at ease and that's a nice feeling. My sister is home which is absolutely fantabulous!! I missed her soooo much over the year --- but I think the year was really good experience for both of us because I think we grew tighter through emailing and calling. But it was a long year.. and it's really nice to have her back. She's probably my closest friend in the world -- I can tell her anything -- and even though we fight now that she's home (you need physical contact in order to fight.. it's hard to fight over the phone) I love knowing that's she's around and I can talk to her.
Yet being at home can also be frustrating. Really frustrating. I guess because I'm realizing that I never feel completely satisfied when I'm with friends. It's really frustrating when you never feel satisfied about yourself when you're with the people you care about. Like on New Years, I went to hang out with friends that I've had since grade 9/10 -- somewhere in there, a good 6 years anyways....... and yet whenever I see them, I still feel like I'm visiting. I'm never IN. The big thing is always that they're going to make a movie or start a theatre company........... I'm a theatre major and yet they haven't seriously asked me to be apart of this ... while many of their other friends get asked at random... Okay, I'm not upset about not being in a theatre company or anything like that because there's a good chance this thing will never get off the ground.... but for once I'd like to feel INCLUDED. I hate the fact that when I'm with them alot of the time I'm wanting to be someone else --- not ME. And this is a horrible thing. I love these people very dearly, and maybe that's why I haven't just given up. It's odd when through out whole evening one of the best conversation I had was with someone whom I haven't even known that long when I'm surrounded by people who I've known for a long time. It's just frustrating when you know that if you were a different personality or if you changed where you live, they would probably finally ACCEPT you and want to be around you --- and yet that SHOULDN'T matter. Grrr.. Lord help me deal with my insecurities.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to going back to Redeemer though school will be really busy..... but I love nothing better than delving myself into something that I'm so passionate about. I love theatre so much and I'm truely thankful to God that he's put that passion in my heart.
Well ---- here I am. It's a new year and no, this isn't one of my new year's resolutions. :) I'm home for the holidays and spending time with family is wonderful. I think it's one of the few places where I feel completely comfortable and at ease and that's a nice feeling. My sister is home which is absolutely fantabulous!! I missed her soooo much over the year --- but I think the year was really good experience for both of us because I think we grew tighter through emailing and calling. But it was a long year.. and it's really nice to have her back. She's probably my closest friend in the world -- I can tell her anything -- and even though we fight now that she's home (you need physical contact in order to fight.. it's hard to fight over the phone) I love knowing that's she's around and I can talk to her.
Yet being at home can also be frustrating. Really frustrating. I guess because I'm realizing that I never feel completely satisfied when I'm with friends. It's really frustrating when you never feel satisfied about yourself when you're with the people you care about. Like on New Years, I went to hang out with friends that I've had since grade 9/10 -- somewhere in there, a good 6 years anyways....... and yet whenever I see them, I still feel like I'm visiting. I'm never IN. The big thing is always that they're going to make a movie or start a theatre company........... I'm a theatre major and yet they haven't seriously asked me to be apart of this ... while many of their other friends get asked at random... Okay, I'm not upset about not being in a theatre company or anything like that because there's a good chance this thing will never get off the ground.... but for once I'd like to feel INCLUDED. I hate the fact that when I'm with them alot of the time I'm wanting to be someone else --- not ME. And this is a horrible thing. I love these people very dearly, and maybe that's why I haven't just given up. It's odd when through out whole evening one of the best conversation I had was with someone whom I haven't even known that long when I'm surrounded by people who I've known for a long time. It's just frustrating when you know that if you were a different personality or if you changed where you live, they would probably finally ACCEPT you and want to be around you --- and yet that SHOULDN'T matter. Grrr.. Lord help me deal with my insecurities.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to going back to Redeemer though school will be really busy..... but I love nothing better than delving myself into something that I'm so passionate about. I love theatre so much and I'm truely thankful to God that he's put that passion in my heart.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Olivia Anne Mantel
Friday, September 16, 2005
God is amazing!
God has been so good to me. And I am thankful. So many things are happening in my life and it's really a comfort to me to know that His hand is over it all.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
A little of this, a little of that
Wendy's is DONE. HALLELUJAH. Praise be.
I have 2 1/2 days left at the office.
And then: HOLIDAYS. Good times -- definately looking forward to some R and R.
I no longer like the radio station 96.7..... same music, every day. Seriously going insane.
Now onto movies, my favouritest topic of conversation...
Movies I've currently watched: (out of five)
Dear Frankie **** -- This movie dissappointed me, but I think if I were to watch it again I would really like it. I had high expectations for this one, and the trailers kind of portrayed the storyline differently then it actually was. But Gerard Butler and Emily Mortimer were very good. And it was set in Scotland --- you can't go wrong there. It was a really nice movie --- I think I will watch it again sometime so it can redeem itself.
Million Dollar Baby *** -- a little slow on the uptake with the million dollar baby craze. Not a fan of boxing, so it was a little difficult to get excited over this one. As well, I already knew the ending to this one so that didn't really help. Yep, this movie had alot of things going against it for me... but still, it was a good film. Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank did very well and I could see why it created some Oscar buzz. Probably won't see it again for a while though.
Shine ****1/2 --- My sister had been recommending this one for a while now, and I finally saw it last week. Such a good movie, wish I had seen it earlier. Geoffrey Rush is quickly moving up my "favourite actors" list. This story is gripping and entertaining and Rush does an incredible job (for which he won an Oscar I might add). The music is also quite beautiful and it's an Australian movie so there's Australian accents! :)
Quills **** --- Morally, this is not a good movie. Otherwise, it is a funny, bold, engaging, well acted movie. Geoffrey Rush, Micheal Cain, Joaquin Pheonix (also another of my favourites) and Kate Winslet put on wonderful performances and the movie poses some interesting questions. But I'm not sure if the final outcome is worth it for the Christian viewer. Really too bad.
The Five Obstructions ****1/2 --- this foreign film has a documentary feel to it. In it, director Lars Von Trier challenges director Jorgon Leth to remake his short "The Perfect Human" five different times, each with a different obstuction. What he comes up with is truly amazing, even if you don't really get it (I didn't). But what is just as interesting is watching these two men interact with each other. Being a huge fan of Lars Von Trier, this movie gave more insight into the way he works. It was thoroughly enjoyable to watch.
That's all for now. Cheers.
I have 2 1/2 days left at the office.
And then: HOLIDAYS. Good times -- definately looking forward to some R and R.
I no longer like the radio station 96.7..... same music, every day. Seriously going insane.
Now onto movies, my favouritest topic of conversation...
Movies I've currently watched: (out of five)
Dear Frankie **** -- This movie dissappointed me, but I think if I were to watch it again I would really like it. I had high expectations for this one, and the trailers kind of portrayed the storyline differently then it actually was. But Gerard Butler and Emily Mortimer were very good. And it was set in Scotland --- you can't go wrong there. It was a really nice movie --- I think I will watch it again sometime so it can redeem itself.
Million Dollar Baby *** -- a little slow on the uptake with the million dollar baby craze. Not a fan of boxing, so it was a little difficult to get excited over this one. As well, I already knew the ending to this one so that didn't really help. Yep, this movie had alot of things going against it for me... but still, it was a good film. Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank did very well and I could see why it created some Oscar buzz. Probably won't see it again for a while though.
Shine ****1/2 --- My sister had been recommending this one for a while now, and I finally saw it last week. Such a good movie, wish I had seen it earlier. Geoffrey Rush is quickly moving up my "favourite actors" list. This story is gripping and entertaining and Rush does an incredible job (for which he won an Oscar I might add). The music is also quite beautiful and it's an Australian movie so there's Australian accents! :)
Quills **** --- Morally, this is not a good movie. Otherwise, it is a funny, bold, engaging, well acted movie. Geoffrey Rush, Micheal Cain, Joaquin Pheonix (also another of my favourites) and Kate Winslet put on wonderful performances and the movie poses some interesting questions. But I'm not sure if the final outcome is worth it for the Christian viewer. Really too bad.
The Five Obstructions ****1/2 --- this foreign film has a documentary feel to it. In it, director Lars Von Trier challenges director Jorgon Leth to remake his short "The Perfect Human" five different times, each with a different obstuction. What he comes up with is truly amazing, even if you don't really get it (I didn't). But what is just as interesting is watching these two men interact with each other. Being a huge fan of Lars Von Trier, this movie gave more insight into the way he works. It was thoroughly enjoyable to watch.
That's all for now. Cheers.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
love stories not yet written -- by ryan weberling
there was once when i found a book whose main character had your name. i went through all 572 pages, tore out every place your name appeared, and put them in my pocket.
it snowed hard all night long. the next morning, i went to the biggest field i knew of and wrote our names together in the snow, secretly hoping that someone (maybe just the aliens) would see it.
we used to call each other late at night and press the telephones close against our skin, just so we could fall asleep to the sound of each other's breathing.
at the fair,
you won a goldfish and named it Cher.
when it died,
we sat beside the toilet and cried.
the first Valentine's Day i knew i loved you- i bought and brought you chocolates from a strange store in Chinatown. they made us so sick we couldn't eat for a week.
i was at the beach- you were not. so i wrote you a 10-page letter, pressed it into an empty root beer bottle, and threw it into the ocean as far as i could.
we took one piece of paper. you wrote the words "i love you" a hundred times. i turned the page over and wrote "i love you" a hundred times. then we held it between our faces and tried to kiss each other through the paper.
we danced
in the snow
in our underpants-
then we had to go
to the hospital
where we, uh,
dance our way (all
the way) outta pneumonia.
our car broke down in the middle of a huge state park. sure we had a cellular phone, but we just walked until our legs gave out and fell asleep on a blanket of pine needles, holding each other close to keep from getting cold.
i can't help but smile when rememberingthe time we signed up to singin the all-community Christmas choir-you dropped your candle and set my robe on fire.
i saw you glance at me. i tripped and fell over.
oh how much you hated mice. when we saw one run under the bed, i took you out the window and we slept on the roof.
you tricked me. i felt something wet and sticky when you grabbed my hand. "it's nothing," you said. well, it was actually super glue.
it snowed hard all night long. the next morning, i went to the biggest field i knew of and wrote our names together in the snow, secretly hoping that someone (maybe just the aliens) would see it.
we used to call each other late at night and press the telephones close against our skin, just so we could fall asleep to the sound of each other's breathing.
at the fair,
you won a goldfish and named it Cher.
when it died,
we sat beside the toilet and cried.
the first Valentine's Day i knew i loved you- i bought and brought you chocolates from a strange store in Chinatown. they made us so sick we couldn't eat for a week.
i was at the beach- you were not. so i wrote you a 10-page letter, pressed it into an empty root beer bottle, and threw it into the ocean as far as i could.
we took one piece of paper. you wrote the words "i love you" a hundred times. i turned the page over and wrote "i love you" a hundred times. then we held it between our faces and tried to kiss each other through the paper.
we danced
in the snow
in our underpants-
then we had to go
to the hospital
where we, uh,
dance our way (all
the way) outta pneumonia.
our car broke down in the middle of a huge state park. sure we had a cellular phone, but we just walked until our legs gave out and fell asleep on a blanket of pine needles, holding each other close to keep from getting cold.
i can't help but smile when rememberingthe time we signed up to singin the all-community Christmas choir-you dropped your candle and set my robe on fire.
i saw you glance at me. i tripped and fell over.
oh how much you hated mice. when we saw one run under the bed, i took you out the window and we slept on the roof.
you tricked me. i felt something wet and sticky when you grabbed my hand. "it's nothing," you said. well, it was actually super glue.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Not another love song
Why does it seem like everyone and their uncle is hooking up? It seems like the latest news from everyone that I talk to is that they're now going out with someone or getting married to someone. I know that in my last blog I said I was satisfied with being single, but the truth of the matter is that it is very hard to stay satisfied under these conditions. Yes, I'm in a little of a love phase.. and I don't like it. I feel like I'm in grade 7 again, pining over boys who will never return my affections. I thought I was over this. It doesn't help that I seem to only attract guys with whom I have no romantic attraction (except for the only one who came the closest to dating me). I just want to find someone to laugh with, to pray with, to share with, and to lean on. Someone who can somehow find it in themselves to love little old impossible me for who I am. I know God already has someone for me (Lord willing) but I just want a little reassurance. I want to be able to hold someone and touch them and know that that touch means something unbelievably special to them. I don't need to be married any time soon (I have way to much learning to do before that), I just want to share life with someone and know that they want to share it with me too -- and at least see marriage as an OPTION in my future.
Lord, give me a little patience.
Lord, give me a little patience.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
The Dreamer.
Dreams can mess with you head. On the one hand, I think dreams are just about the most wonderful and stounding gifts that God has given us. The fact that we can slip into unconsciousness and then witness a cacophany of wild and imaginative experiences, all while we're ASLEEP, is pretty darn amazing when you think about it. But how much stock should we put into dreams? Two nights ago, I dreamt that I was pregnant. It was pretty exciting, but also scary because it turns out I wasn't married. Like it so often happens in dreams, I knew that the baby was a boy (without any medical person having told me), but the best part was that I was going to name the baby..... Brink Sven. In all honesty. Who the HECK names their child BRINK SVEN???? I mean, I like some doozy of names (just ask my sister) but even that one way out my ballpark. Seriously. Now, obviously I'm taking too much stock into this dream. Actually, I don't usually. If I did, I'm sure that I'd be sending crap loads of love letters to JTT (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) because I dreamt about him for a week straight when I was younger so that MUST mean that we're going to get married. But the day before I had that dream, I was listening to a CD and I heard a song. And while the song was playing I had a flash picture of me dancing with my husband to this song at our wedding. It surprised me really, because I had heard this song many times before, and I hadn't even really liked it all that much. But I had never had that happen before. And yes, I saw my "husband". And in the dream I had, (in which I was pregnant) this same guy said that he would marry me. This is where I start to wonder how much stock we should put into dreams. Now my practical/rational side would tell me that my subconscious put him in both of those situations because I do like him right now and I'm rather confused as to what to do about it. So rationally, I have tried to dismiss the connection. But my romantic/non-rational side wants me to see this as a sign.
I was talking to a close friend the other day who is getting married, and she told me that the year before, she was walking down the aisle at another wedding, and she knew that the next time she walked down the aisle, her now fiance would be standing at the end (they weren't even going out at that time). And now they're getting married. Obviously they're not getting married because she just knew that they would, but who's to say that my little flash prophesy might actually have some truth in it? Maybe there is some merit in these 'feelings'. Okay I know this is a somewhat dangerous and stupid way to go about it. I mean, if I were to believe every premonition I have, who knows what could happen. But I'm kind of sick of not knowing what to do. Can you have the feeling that you've found 'the one' when you've never dated before, let alone this guy????
Not that I'm pining to get married or anything. I'm quite happy with my life right now and I'm somewhat satisfied being single. Not to mention that I really can't see myself getting married any time soon. This just has been bothering me for a little bit. Because I can also see myself completely and utterly happy with him. And it seems like everyone is finding a boyfriend or getting married. And, no, I'm not going to say who the guy is. No one knows. Except my sister. And she's in Australia.
Well, I guess that's about it. I was going to write more but I have more numbers just waiting to be typed in.
Cheers.
I was talking to a close friend the other day who is getting married, and she told me that the year before, she was walking down the aisle at another wedding, and she knew that the next time she walked down the aisle, her now fiance would be standing at the end (they weren't even going out at that time). And now they're getting married. Obviously they're not getting married because she just knew that they would, but who's to say that my little flash prophesy might actually have some truth in it? Maybe there is some merit in these 'feelings'. Okay I know this is a somewhat dangerous and stupid way to go about it. I mean, if I were to believe every premonition I have, who knows what could happen. But I'm kind of sick of not knowing what to do. Can you have the feeling that you've found 'the one' when you've never dated before, let alone this guy????
Not that I'm pining to get married or anything. I'm quite happy with my life right now and I'm somewhat satisfied being single. Not to mention that I really can't see myself getting married any time soon. This just has been bothering me for a little bit. Because I can also see myself completely and utterly happy with him. And it seems like everyone is finding a boyfriend or getting married. And, no, I'm not going to say who the guy is. No one knows. Except my sister. And she's in Australia.
Well, I guess that's about it. I was going to write more but I have more numbers just waiting to be typed in.
Cheers.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
My life as a mastercard commercial.
Being a Wendy's girl: crummy. Being an office girl: nice. Being a Theate girl? Priceless.
Oh yeah -- life in the fast lane. Things have been.. busy. I've been working up a storm and not entirely disliking it. I like to feel busy. Course my free time has been rather diminished but really, my free time consisted of watching TV and movies so I can handle that. I don't get to see my friends as much so that rather sucks, but what can you do. Oh BLECH I just took a swig of very cold coffee. Talk about gross. My office job has been going great. I'm now indexing on the computer so my days consist of typing in numbers all day long. I know, it sounds horrible, but compared to Wendy's it's a dream. Ah Wendy's. Well, it continues to be horrible, despite the fact that I'm only working 3 hour shifts. Thursday the people just kept coming through those doors... for 3 hours straight! And I had to work with a manager that kind of grates on my nerves. But hey, it's money.
I'm also volunteering at Theatre Cambridge which takes up my friday evenings. And I don't mind one bit. I get to see the shows for free and I love the theatre atmosphere. It's good to be back in the theatre. The show playing right now is called "Five Guys Named Moe" and it's a jazz musical so it's ALOT of fun. One of the leads is quite attractive.. and was on "Instant Star" apparently. Who knew. So yeah, that makes all of my evenings full through out the week.
Thank goodness for free weekends. This past one was spent in Grand Rapids, Michigan celebrating the wedding of my cousin Michelle. Almost all of my cousins were there so that was awesome, especially seeing my cousins from South Dakota. We get to see them only on rare occasions so even if it's just a day and a half, it's still nice. The wedding was a fun time... it was my first outside wedding. Thank goodness it was under a tent though.. it was a wee warm. But the reception was inside -- in a musuem. It was so cool.. there was a carousel there so we all rode on the merry-go-round and there was interesting stuff to see. We were in the lobby of sorts but there was neat stuff all around. Very cool atmosphere. Oh and I also got a compliment on my black dress from a complete stranger -- a guy. A pretty good looking guy. That was fun.
Well, I suppose I should get back to work. It's very nice and air conditioned in here. :)
Cheers.
Movies seen recently: (rating out of five)
Ghostworld *** -- I bought this movie not having watched it. Not usually a rick I like to take. This movie is quirky. That's about the best description I have for it. It's about a girl who is trying to find her place in the world. There is alot of swearing but I enjoyed it. Not entirely sure I would have bought it had I had seen it before I had the option of buying it.
Frida **** -- interesting movie about painter.. a little more than a bit of nudity though.. go figure, it's a movie about painters.
Alex and Emma *** -- watched this one at the hotel. Very cute movie. I liked it as far as romantic comedies go. It made me laugh and it pokes fun at romance books a bit so that gave it some points in my books... but in the end, still a wee but cheesy.
The Aviator **** -- Leo Decrapio actually had me convinced in this movie. I think he did a really good job of this film and I was really impressed with his dedication to this movie. I don't know if we'll ever see this from him again.. but hey. The movie did have a crap load of swearing in it though.. most of which I thought was unnecessary. Still, four stars.
The Far Side of the Moon *** -- a French Canadian film. Pretty much enough said. The film techniques were rather interesting but I didn't really know where the film was going. Still, it wasn't time entirely wasted.
Oh yeah -- life in the fast lane. Things have been.. busy. I've been working up a storm and not entirely disliking it. I like to feel busy. Course my free time has been rather diminished but really, my free time consisted of watching TV and movies so I can handle that. I don't get to see my friends as much so that rather sucks, but what can you do. Oh BLECH I just took a swig of very cold coffee. Talk about gross. My office job has been going great. I'm now indexing on the computer so my days consist of typing in numbers all day long. I know, it sounds horrible, but compared to Wendy's it's a dream. Ah Wendy's. Well, it continues to be horrible, despite the fact that I'm only working 3 hour shifts. Thursday the people just kept coming through those doors... for 3 hours straight! And I had to work with a manager that kind of grates on my nerves. But hey, it's money.
I'm also volunteering at Theatre Cambridge which takes up my friday evenings. And I don't mind one bit. I get to see the shows for free and I love the theatre atmosphere. It's good to be back in the theatre. The show playing right now is called "Five Guys Named Moe" and it's a jazz musical so it's ALOT of fun. One of the leads is quite attractive.. and was on "Instant Star" apparently. Who knew. So yeah, that makes all of my evenings full through out the week.
Thank goodness for free weekends. This past one was spent in Grand Rapids, Michigan celebrating the wedding of my cousin Michelle. Almost all of my cousins were there so that was awesome, especially seeing my cousins from South Dakota. We get to see them only on rare occasions so even if it's just a day and a half, it's still nice. The wedding was a fun time... it was my first outside wedding. Thank goodness it was under a tent though.. it was a wee warm. But the reception was inside -- in a musuem. It was so cool.. there was a carousel there so we all rode on the merry-go-round and there was interesting stuff to see. We were in the lobby of sorts but there was neat stuff all around. Very cool atmosphere. Oh and I also got a compliment on my black dress from a complete stranger -- a guy. A pretty good looking guy. That was fun.
Well, I suppose I should get back to work. It's very nice and air conditioned in here. :)
Cheers.
Movies seen recently: (rating out of five)
Ghostworld *** -- I bought this movie not having watched it. Not usually a rick I like to take. This movie is quirky. That's about the best description I have for it. It's about a girl who is trying to find her place in the world. There is alot of swearing but I enjoyed it. Not entirely sure I would have bought it had I had seen it before I had the option of buying it.
Frida **** -- interesting movie about painter.. a little more than a bit of nudity though.. go figure, it's a movie about painters.
Alex and Emma *** -- watched this one at the hotel. Very cute movie. I liked it as far as romantic comedies go. It made me laugh and it pokes fun at romance books a bit so that gave it some points in my books... but in the end, still a wee but cheesy.
The Aviator **** -- Leo Decrapio actually had me convinced in this movie. I think he did a really good job of this film and I was really impressed with his dedication to this movie. I don't know if we'll ever see this from him again.. but hey. The movie did have a crap load of swearing in it though.. most of which I thought was unnecessary. Still, four stars.
The Far Side of the Moon *** -- a French Canadian film. Pretty much enough said. The film techniques were rather interesting but I didn't really know where the film was going. Still, it wasn't time entirely wasted.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
For Ireland
Liquid threads of colour
Pool across a palette of infinite dimension
Stretching the breadth of human emotion with its thundrous vitality
A canvas of serene sacredness and raw power:
Rolling fields slumber in tranquility, embraced by tangled bushes,
Frothing water of a laundered bed --
A masquerade of faeries shimmering in a wonderland of mist and spray.
Fierce strongholds boldy curse time's passing hand.
They whisper to me tales of their childhood
Of swords and magic and kings.
Standing in the recesses of your spirit
Nature and myth collide in waking dream
Reviving my senses from numb apathy.
I run my fingers along the rough Celtic legends
To suck the marrow of my paramour.
I will revel in the silken coolness of your breath
and forever rest in the arms of your ardent lullaby.
I am home.
It still needs some editing.. but I'll sit on it for a while. In the mean time, here's the first draft.
Pool across a palette of infinite dimension
Stretching the breadth of human emotion with its thundrous vitality
A canvas of serene sacredness and raw power:
Rolling fields slumber in tranquility, embraced by tangled bushes,
Frothing water of a laundered bed --
A masquerade of faeries shimmering in a wonderland of mist and spray.
Fierce strongholds boldy curse time's passing hand.
They whisper to me tales of their childhood
Of swords and magic and kings.
Standing in the recesses of your spirit
Nature and myth collide in waking dream
Reviving my senses from numb apathy.
I run my fingers along the rough Celtic legends
To suck the marrow of my paramour.
I will revel in the silken coolness of your breath
and forever rest in the arms of your ardent lullaby.
I am home.
It still needs some editing.. but I'll sit on it for a while. In the mean time, here's the first draft.
Acting angst.
So I watched the second half of “What a Girl Wants” the other night, because I was bored and it was on TV. Let me just say that I have great pity for anyone who loves that movie. After about 10 minutes every inch of me felt entirely compelled to change the channel. Amanda Byrnes CAN NOT ACT. Every time she spoke it sounded like she was reciting a script. If it’s good acting, you should never hear a script. “Why are you trying to fit in, when you were born to stand out?” Please excuse me while I throw up. So why did I keep watching it, you ask? Well, for one thing, my parents sat down and started watching it with me… but the main reason I started watching it in the first place is because Colin Firth is in it. And believe me, I am very disappointed in Colin Firth for doing this movie. I mean, he’s about the only thing that’s good in it, but even that doesn’t save it. Why does a really good actor do a movie with a crap actress who is only famous because she’s pretty and she did a kid TV show? The same thing goes for Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff. Blech. All these kids, who can not act to save their lives, get to work with these credible actors just because they’re pretty and marketable. There is no justice in this world. Then there’s Jim Carrey, who I am starting to have more respect for as an actor. I saw the Majestic over the weekend and it’s not a bad little film. I don’t particularly like him so much as a comedic actor (although I do have respect for his abilities in that area), but I think he does some good stuff as a dramatic actor (dramatic meaning ‘not comedic’ rather than soap opera, overdone acting), especially in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. I think Canada should be proud of him. It has taken some time for him to convince me of this conclusion so there it is. I’m sure he’s reading this now and jumping for joy because he now has my respect. I know I would if I were him.
I saw my friend Jenna two nights ago -- I haven't seen her since Christmas. That made me happy. It's always nice when you can see someone who you haven't seen in months and it feels like you last saw them a day ago. It makes you really appreciate your friendship. I think that's what having a best friend is all about. And it feels good.
Cheers.
I saw my friend Jenna two nights ago -- I haven't seen her since Christmas. That made me happy. It's always nice when you can see someone who you haven't seen in months and it feels like you last saw them a day ago. It makes you really appreciate your friendship. I think that's what having a best friend is all about. And it feels good.
Cheers.
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