C'est tres bonne!!!!

Newly found directors that I'm completely excited about: The Dardennes brothers.
Mmm. Okay I only just saw my first of their movies on the weekend -- Le Fils (The Son). But by spending much of my time reading movie reviews (I recommend www.lookingcloser.org or www.phantomtollbooth.org for great Christian movie reviews!) I know that their other movies --- Rosetta, La Promesse, L'Enfant --- are equally as acclaimed. And, well, I loved The Son, so I am very much looking forward to exploring their other stuff. Watching The Son, I just sat there in rapture through most of the movie because it is exactly the type of art that I love: SHOW, don't TELL. Everything about the movie is so natural and the acting is phenominal. It's not a completely easy movie to watch --- you have to be patient with it and allow it to tell you its story in its own time. And it doesn't leave you with this cliche, neat and packaged ending -- it's complex and unsatisfying. Yet it's satisfying in it's "unsatisfyingness". The journey is entirely worth it. It restores my faith in film that can be a work of art as well as carry such deep meaning for Christians and non-Christians alike.
Now if only I could do something that creative and meaningful.

manicured little hands in everything

I was listening to the radio on the way to work this week and I was bopping my head to a song that was fun and summerish. Then the song ended and the DJ person said something along the lines of "and there we have the new song from Paris Hilton!" I almost drove off the road.
Curse you Paris Hilton for putting your voice to something that's summerish and boppable.

the big man in town

So as I was walking to work from my car today (it's a little bit of a hike from the parking lot to work) I saw a group of men wearing business suits standing around a parked car chatting it up. Across the street a police man was sitting in one of two unmarked police vehicles. It was a curious site, especially in this area of town, but I soon forgot all about it.
About two hours later, my coworker Paulette noticed the A Channel News van driving up the street. It would be the first of many TV news vans that started parking all along our street... City TV, CBC, CBS, OMNI... you name it. Why, do you ask, were we suddenly flooded with press on our lowly little street in downtown Cambridge?
Stephen Harper was in town.
Yep, turns out the big PM was at the David Durward Centre today to announce the sum of money that they are offering to the people who contracted hepatitis C in the tainted blood scandal.
One of my coworkers figured out why all the press was here, and after a parade of black cars cruising down the street confirmed it, Paulette, Amanda, and myself decided to walk up there and see if we could get a glimpse of the Prime Minister. We sat outside the Durward Centre for about an hour, waiting for him to get out... but there were lots of policemenand men in suits and glasses to keep us entertained. Talk about a feast for the eyes. Mmm mm mm. Then at about 12 o'clock the cars all gathered around the door and the body guards started talking more in their cool little earpieces, and then there he was! Stephen Harper! He stopped before he got in the car and waved at the small group of us that were gathered (at a safe distance away --- the police made sure of that), and we waved and clapped and some man yelled out,"Thank you for going to Afganistan Mr Harper! You're a good man!" Then the PM got in his car and the parade of shnazzy looking black cars rolled out.
And we went back to work.
I love the little moments of excitement we have at work.

You'd think I was rich...

Oh my word. In a month I will be living here.

down with stuff

Getting ready for Los Angeles is making me feel materialistic.

boom

There is a big thunderstorm going on right now. I wish that I could be out right in the middle of it and not have to worry about getting electricuted or pnemonia. Also, I hope that the power goes out. Because then maybe I can go home.

!! Great Big Show !!

This is GREAT BIG SEA!!!!!!!! In real life!!!!!!!! Last night Trish and I went to the Molson Amphitheatre to join the we-love-Great-Big-Sea masses for a night of hardcore music!!!! It was so fabulous.. completely unforgetable. Their vocals are even better live, and the energy of the crowd was so amazing! We were their second/third largest show --- such a rush. My throat is sore now, but man, was it worth it. I loved every minute of it, including the drunk people in front of me.

My family. My life.

These pictures were taken over the past couple of days as my entire extended family on my mom's side gathered for my Opa's funeral. The pictures in Tim Hortons are with my cousins from South Dakota. The time spent with family made me so thankful and blessed for the people that God has given me to love and to be loved by. I couldn't ask for a better group!

The Lord gives...

Today my Opa went to be with God.
I will miss him very much but I am so thankful that his pain is gone and I know he's much happier now.

I love you Opa.

movie-a-minute

One of my favourite websites is Rinkworks -- it is full of hilarity. One of the features on their website is Movie/Book-a-Minute, where they condense movies/books for those who don't really feel like watching/reading them. I went on the movie-a-minute site today and laughed at these so I thought I'd put some up on my blog. It's okay if you don't find them funny. I do.

Gone with the Wind
Scarlett O'Hara: I'm a whiny little brat, but my will is like iron. Watch my eyes flare.
Rhett Butler: I don't give a damn.
Audience: Gasp! We've never heard anything so depraved in our lives!
THE END

Grease
John Travolta: I like you, but you're not cool enough.
Olivia Newton-John: What if I dress like a slut?
John Travolta: Now that you're not who you are, I can love you for who I wanted you to be.
THE END

The Hours
Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, and Meryl Streep: Yeah, we're women, and it sucks.
THE END

The Lion King
Scar: You killed your father.
Simba: (runs away)
Nala: We need you.
Simba: (runs back)
THE END

diet coke experimentos

This is awesome.

listfully acted

Due to my communication with the LAFSC (Los Angeles Film Studies Centre --- my school next semester) group, I have compiled a list of my top ten actors/actresses. Inspired by Brett Dewing (though without his "preciseness") I have decided to post them here as well, since I spent most of my morning putting it together (while doing multiple other officey-type things, I assure you). It is not ten people exactly, for some actors I have put together because I like them an equal amount and I thought both should be in my top ten. But it's my list so I make the rules. Plus, this will show to my lovely but ignorant roomates that, contrary to popular belief, I do indeed like some female actors. Around ten in fact.

::Actors:: (separated into top 5, than subsequent esteemed actors --both groups are in no particular order)
1. Joaquin Pheonix
2. Tom Wilkinson
3. Johnny Depp
4. Adrien Brody
5. Geoffrey Rush/Kevin Spacey
-----------------
6. Viggo Mortensen
7. Paul Bettany
8. Colin Firth
9. Liam Neeson/Anthony Hopkins
10. Hugh Laurie/Robert Sean Leonard (both of these men get lumped together because I think they are both very talented actors, but I've not seen a whole lot of either of them -- Laurie is based on House, and Sense and Sensibility, and Leonard is based on House, Dead Poet's Society, and Chelsea Walls)

::Actresses:: (same system as actors)
1. Kate Winslet
2. Cate Blanchett
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Julianne Moore
5. Emma Thompson
-----------------
6. Gwyneth Paltrow
7. Nicole Kidman
8. Robin Wright Penn
9. Miranda Otto/Michelle Pfeiffer
10. Emily Mortimer/Emily Watson/Samantha Morton (these three actress are in the same boat as Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard --- I think all three of them are talented, but I can only base that opinion on a small number of movies for each of them, so I have lumped them together as well)

Not exactly ten. But close enough.

rambling along

Two months from today I will be flying to Los Angeles. I'm trying desperately not to be nervous.
I am working on a really hard Sudoku.. but it's a level 5 so I guess that makes sense. My brain is feeling challenged -- always good.
I realized that I watched a movie every day last week. I don't know whether to feel satisifed or ashamed.
I really love being an aunt. More than I think I would love being a mom right now. That's probably a good thing, I would imagine, seeing as I have no plans for being pregnant any time soon.
I have met four really great girls -- Nicole, Tabitha, Elaine, and Nicah -- who I'm probably going to be sharing an apartment with in Los Angeles. I enjoy all of the them so far, and I hope this is an indication of how my semester is going to go.
I am going to be working on a film this summer with an aquaintance from Kitchener. I will probably be holding cords and getting him coffee. But I will be on a set. And I will be learning.
God is still good.

But the greatest of these is.

Leave me alone so I won't try to
Open my body to your claws as you
Vie for my affection and
Eat my senses into overdrive.

daydream

These people are the only living things that make me actually want to be admitted to a hospital. Sigh. If only life worked that way.

Eating habits

I don't think people know what a blessing it is to be able to eat a normal meal. To be able to finish a hamburger, fries, and a soft drink -- a normal combo meal at any fastfood restaurant -- and feel satisfied (provided it's not mcdonald's -- because then you're just asking for indigestion) and contently full or maybe still hungry. I used to be like that. There was a time when I would eat a combo meal and still have room for dessert. The last time I clearly remember being able to do that was in grade seven -- around 8 or 9 years ago.
If I was allowed to change one thing about my body, just one, I wouldn't ask to be shorter, or to have a better back, or to have the ability to tan (although all of those would be tempting).. I would ask for a new digestive system.
Anyone who has lived with me or who has been friends with me for a significant period of time knows that I don't eat very much. Well, to quote Winnie the Pooh -- I would, if I could, but I can't. Around grade eight/grade nine, my appetite started to decrease, by which I mean that I found I couldn't eat as much during a meal before I'd start feeling full. Accompanied to that was that I was randomly getting bad indigestion about a 1/2 hour after meals. This steadily got worse throughout highschool to the point where I'd be camping out in the bathroom after meals about 4-5 times a week. Fast forward to the present. Now, I feel sick probably about once a day. I have about 5 different kinds of "feeling sick" that I've learn to identify that will hit me randomly so it's impossble to monitor and control. If I were to order a combo at a fastfood restaurant (that would be a feat in of itself because I can't even eat fastfood anymore) I would barely be able to finish the hamburger by itself, let alone the fries and drink. The thought of dessert wouldn't even cross my mind.
I'm not writing this blog to gain sympathy or as a "woe is me" complaint. I'm frustrated. I want people to understand that when I go to a restaurant and don't order anything except water, it's not because I'm on some diet (so don't look at me with scorn because "oh yeah like you need to diet") or because I'm anorexic, it's because I can't finish anything on the menu, or because I'm feeling nauseous, or becuase it's too late at night or I'm too tired and if I eat I'll feel like I'm going to throw up, or because we're going out somewhere after supper and I don't want to chance food in case I end up spending most of the evening in the bathroom. If I don't feel like going out to some place, it's not because I don't like the company, or because I'm a party-pooper, it's because through out the years, home has become a safe haven for me because I can be sick there as much as I want and not worry about it. This is why watching movies has become one of my most frequent activities -- I can stay at home and my body can just lay down and relax, whether it's sick or not. Going out is stressful, going to a restaurant is stressful, going on trips is stressful, going to evening church is stressful (because we eat before church and you have to sit in a pew for an hour and a 1/2), doing anything new is stressful (my body hates change) -- and the funny thing is, the more stressed my body is, the more likely it will get sick. It's a cycle -- I get stressed that I'm going to get sick, and then I get sick because I'm stressed out about it, which makes me nervous about it again next time. Well, you would say, don't get stressed and you won't get sick... The fun thing about my body is that it can hit at any time.... whether I'm stressed or not.
If I could survive without eating, I would.
I want to be a normal person. Not being able to eat properly has affected so many areas of my life, I feel now that I've come to define myself by it. I feel I've lost so much of who I am because of my body -- I don't take near as many risks, I don't go out and have fun as much and I don't really like to either, I'm stressed so much more, I'm not as fun, and I feel judged all the time because people don't understand (because it just looks like I'm doing it for dietary reasons.. and, well, I'm skinny, so that isn't taken favourably.. ) and I don't feel like explaning to every waitress why I'm not giving them any business or to the group of people I'm with why I'm being so frugal with my money and not ordering anything again. I would love to go visit my cousins for 4 days and not be sick for most of the time I'm there. I would like to be able to eat a meal (or just eat something period) before I go on stage. I would like not to get full on my lunch consisting of a small baggie of crispers, a drink, and a yogurt. I'm sick of people's snide little comments like "oh yeah, I forgot, you're never hungry" or "let me guess, you're not feeling well". I can't control it, I can't help it, and I'm not a big fan of it either. So back off.
I look forward to heaven if for nothing else than for a restored body.

Law and Order Cambridge?

Downtown Cambridge (well, downtown Galt to be more precise-- where my work is located) is an area full of very interesting people. Last year there was an old homeless lady who had a necklace with a cross on it. She walked up and down the street and if she came up to a tree or a sewer, she would stand beside it and bless it by making circular and crosslike movements with her necklace over it. She would do this for a good 15 minutes before moving on to the next item that needed blessing. We had one holy downtown area all summer.
Today we experienced a real life Law and Order situation. Across the street from our building are these ratty looking apartments that hold all kinds of interesting people. Lately there have been these teenagers that will go into the street and yell up to this one apartment (they are all at least one story above ground). I've seen them do this a number of times when I come out of work. Well, yesterday there were these two guys and a girl who were down there yelling up to the apartment and the girl was crying.. I guess they got let in becuase they went off around the corner after a little bit. But today they were back. The one guy and the girl were in their pj's, and it looked like the two guys were going to take each other out. The girl was crying and trying to break them up. She managed to get them off of each other, but for the next 10-20 minutes they were walking around our building yelling at each other and waving their arms around and pushing each other (well, really the dressed guy was yelling at the pj guy and pushing him around). The girl just kept crying and looked rather helpless. The pj couple finally walked off. About a couple minutes later the police showed up. There were numerous cop cars and a pattywagon on the street -- unfortunately all the police stuff happened around the corner so we couldn't see what went on. We have been under the suspicion for a while now that that apartment has been dealing drugs.. (we keep ourselves entertained by playing dectective -- we have suspicions about all kinds of people on this street) because there's a window in that apartment that is never open and even when the blind comes up a little, there's cardboard behind it.... oh yeah. they're druggies.
Things have calmed down now, but we're still hoping that the police will be back and they'll bust the place. But it was pretty exciting.. we had police up and down the street talking to people. They didn't come in here. But it was still cool.
Well, time to wait for the next bit of excitement.. maybe the girl that we strongly suspect to be a hooker will come strutting by soon and make a pass on someone...

Look at Me

Close your eyes that I may
glue them shut with my fingertips
To blind you from my blood
as I am blind to yours
Listen to my voice
Let me speak for the first time
as a woman
and you a man
Allow me to become
a life size model of your childhood dream
breathing under your hands
as you feel your way into sight
Let us play like we used to play
Let us laugh like we used to laugh
Before age clawed into our skin
and demanded of us rationality
Then perhaps your blindness will keep
me from fading into familiarity
and I will stop being afraid
But until then, my love will lie in secret
within the tip of each of my fingers
and I will wait
until you can tell me the reason
why we ever should have met at all

Bless you!

(from Friday, May 26)
Here are some of the happy highlights of my week:
I went to New Jersey to visit my brother and sister-in-law for a whole weekend.
I received the first season of House M.D. in the mail while we were there (we had it shipped to my brother's place), and we payed less for it than anywhere else I had seen.
I watched two episodes of the first season of House and one episode of Firefly. All three were excellent.
I reveled in the joys of my youth by watching Victor Borge and enjoyed the satisfaction of getting more jokes than I did when I was a child.
Along with House, I purchased a CD by Caroline Lavelle that I've wanted to own for a long while now, for the lovely price of 5 dollars.
I smiled and laughed every day this week.
My sister and I spent Tuesday evening with our friend Nathaniel at our weekly movie night -- we watched Short Circuit, Hoodwinked, and Dummy. They were all funny.
The season finale of House for season two was FAN-FLIPPIN-TASTIC, confirming its position as my new favourite show on TV right now (tied with Law and Order SVU of course).
I got to enjoy the fun feature that is speaker-phone, and by doing so, I could talk to both my friends Sam and Amy at once. I think that was my first time being a speaker-phoner (the person calling that gets turned to speaker-phone), rather than a speaker-phonee (those multiple people on the other end that can all talk to the one person calling). An interesting experience.
I finished a level five Sudoku.. the highest and hardest level of Sudokus. Go me.
I went out for coffee with one of my best friends, Jenna, whom I haven't seen for a couple of months. She came home for the summer instead of staying in Chicago, which is awesome.
I finally started the hefty project of redoing my room -- so far this week my one wall that used to be covered in the Winnie the Pooh has been converted to a wall of Lord of the Rings. Going into my room makes me happy.
I found Firefly for $24.99 and bought it without thinking twice (I now own House and Firefly... Eeek!)
My cousins are coming this weekend from South Dakota. I haven't seen them in almost a year.
I just found out that I got a 35 cent raise from last summer.
My work week consisted of four days, not five, and my weekend starts in an hour and a half!

(i don't like the summer)

why is it that i feel so restless... so... ? when i'm busy, i want nothing but to be still ...
when i'm still, i feel empty, needing to do. needing to... my brain feels restless... and yet apathetic.
i want to put my hands to something and feel in my being that it means something.
i want to flee from monotony.
i want to stop trying to chase down the meaning of life in every movie i see.
i want to stop living my head.
i want to commit to something instead of wondering from half-started project to half-started project.
i want to feel too much.
i want to stop feeling.
i want to quit desiring to be nothing more than a human.
i want to gain momentum so every new step won't feel like the first one.
i want to be a friend.
i want to stop eating so much just because i'm bored.
i want my clothes to be made for me.
i want my body to be made for me.
i want to know that i can love -- not just some teenage angst cliche.
i want to know that someone can swear and still be a good person.
i want to never swear at all.
i want to feel satisfied.
i want...