Alright.. school can be done now.

okay, so october 31st was my last entry... it's now december 11... man that's a long time. ahh well... I'm sorry to those who actually read this. I really am. So I guess at this point I would put in all my sorry excuses as to why I haven't written (and there are lots of them) but I'm just going to skip that part because I really don't feel like doing lots of typing.. and besides the fact that me writing this blog right now is a really big procrastination technique (I believe it's the sixth one now, after going to the library, doing dishes, doing some shopping, eating lunch at my grandparents, doing some more shopping, and eating supper with my sister and her friends.. okay so that's seven, but I only counted shopping once) for this rather big paper that I have due on monday (and yes, my first exam is wednesday and I also have an audition on monday). Ahh procrastination. I think my life would be a whole lot easier and a whole lot less stressful it wasn't for that dreadful monster called procrastination. I think it's made a perminate home on my ankle. Why my ankle, you ask? I don't really know.. ask it, not me.
So the play is over. It's actually been two weeks to this date. At this time two weeks ago, I was standing on stage in the wings, listening to the pre-show music and feeling the butterflies in my stomach. I'm actually getting them again, just thinking about it. How weird that we associate bodily feeling with certain moments in time. yeah. I miss the play alot. It's kind of like there's a hole in my life... You work so long on something that means so much to you, you perform it for one week, and then poof -- it's over and you'll never do it again. That has got to be one of the most depressing things about theatre. It kind of hits you hard if you've really emmersed yourself in the play. For me, it hit when I came to church in the box the next day and saw the empty stage for the first time.. I looked up and it kind of hit me, like a shock.. and since I was already a little depressed, I cried through alot of church in the box. I put so much of myself in this play -- it was kind of my life. Especially when we had all that crap about the language and stuff... I was sooo bloody mad about that. If I had had the time I would have written a blog because MAN I would have loved to have vented. Maybe I will right now .. okay, pretend it's about second week of november...
"So yeah, I have just found out that they are going to have restrict our audience to just the Redeemer community... and to make matters worse, they are going give us only three shows.. instead of the regular five. And would those shows be the thurdsday, friday and saturday? Oh no, that would be too much.. it has to be tuesday, wednesday, thursday.. all work days and all days when people have classes. I'M SO MAD!!!! I found out in theatre 226, Sharon told us and yep, as per usual, emotional Steph starts to cry... course I held it in because it was class.. but I had to do some wiping control around the eye area. It just seems like they're making such a mockery of all the work we've done.. All becuase of a couple of "oh my gods". I'm sorry but our story is real life people..."
Okay, I'm going to stop there because I realized that I could keep going for a while. Man, was I pissed.. Surprising how quickly those feelings resurfaced. Of course, that doesn't mean anything now becuase we ended up getting all the "oh my gods" taken out (except for one.. mine of course) and we got all our shows back, but that all happened a week before the show opened so we didn't get near the audience we were hoping for.. pitty. People really missed out.
Each show was so wonderfully different for me. Monday's dress rehearsal went horribly. I got so many notes from Ray and some of them were about loosing text (like, not being able to hear it) and that got to me the most because that is one thing I never let myself do... really frustrating. So I was really nervous for Tuesday's performance... which for me was one of my freshest performances. It was the first time infront of an audience and everything was so new and wonderful. I felt alive during that performance. Wednesday's was a deadbeat. Matinee performance, no sleep the night before due to adrenaline (sp?), dead audience, no laughs.. all around not cool performance -- of course that was the one that they taped. Go figure. Thursday's performance was a solid performance for me. Friday's was our most emotional performance. It started out weird for me because my apron was left on stage so I had to put it on in the blackout and yeah, I put it on backwards.. threw me off for the first little bit. Lindsay (older Marie) got really emotional at her "rape speech" so that got me more emotional than I'd ever been. The rest of the play was just really emotional for us. And Saturday's performance was the last one.. bittersweet.
Well, enough of the play. Since the play has been over I've had to write 7 papers in 2 weeks, plus take a final and 2 quizzes. Let's just say that I burnt out. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the play finished.
But yeah, one of those 7 papers is the one that I'm supposed to be working on right now... It's now 8:30.. I believe I started on the computer at around 7.. pathetic really.
Over and out.