One of my favourite websites is Rinkworks -- it is full of hilarity. One of the features on their website is Movie/Book-a-Minute, where they condense movies/books for those who don't really feel like watching/reading them. I went on the movie-a-minute site today and laughed at these so I thought I'd put some up on my blog. It's okay if you don't find them funny. I do.
Gone with the Wind
Scarlett O'Hara: I'm a whiny little brat, but my will is like iron. Watch my eyes flare.
Rhett Butler: I don't give a damn.
Audience: Gasp! We've never heard anything so depraved in our lives!
THE END
Grease
John Travolta: I like you, but you're not cool enough.
Olivia Newton-John: What if I dress like a slut?
John Travolta: Now that you're not who you are, I can love you for who I wanted you to be.
THE END
The Hours
Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, and Meryl Streep: Yeah, we're women, and it sucks.
THE END
The Lion King
Scar: You killed your father.
Simba: (runs away)
Nala: We need you.
Simba: (runs back)
THE END
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
listfully acted
Due to my communication with the LAFSC (Los Angeles Film Studies Centre --- my school next semester) group, I have compiled a list of my top ten actors/actresses. Inspired by Brett Dewing (though without his "preciseness") I have decided to post them here as well, since I spent most of my morning putting it together (while doing multiple other officey-type things, I assure you). It is not ten people exactly, for some actors I have put together because I like them an equal amount and I thought both should be in my top ten. But it's my list so I make the rules. Plus, this will show to my lovely but ignorant roomates that, contrary to popular belief, I do indeed like some female actors. Around ten in fact.
::Actors:: (separated into top 5, than subsequent esteemed actors --both groups are in no particular order)
1. Joaquin Pheonix
2. Tom Wilkinson
3. Johnny Depp
4. Adrien Brody
5. Geoffrey Rush/Kevin Spacey
-----------------
6. Viggo Mortensen
7. Paul Bettany
8. Colin Firth
9. Liam Neeson/Anthony Hopkins
10. Hugh Laurie/Robert Sean Leonard (both of these men get lumped together because I think they are both very talented actors, but I've not seen a whole lot of either of them -- Laurie is based on House, and Sense and Sensibility, and Leonard is based on House, Dead Poet's Society, and Chelsea Walls)
::Actresses:: (same system as actors)
1. Kate Winslet
2. Cate Blanchett
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Julianne Moore
5. Emma Thompson
-----------------
6. Gwyneth Paltrow
7. Nicole Kidman
8. Robin Wright Penn
9. Miranda Otto/Michelle Pfeiffer
10. Emily Mortimer/Emily Watson/Samantha Morton (these three actress are in the same boat as Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard --- I think all three of them are talented, but I can only base that opinion on a small number of movies for each of them, so I have lumped them together as well)
Not exactly ten. But close enough.
::Actors:: (separated into top 5, than subsequent esteemed actors --both groups are in no particular order)
1. Joaquin Pheonix
2. Tom Wilkinson
3. Johnny Depp
4. Adrien Brody
5. Geoffrey Rush/Kevin Spacey
-----------------
6. Viggo Mortensen
7. Paul Bettany
8. Colin Firth
9. Liam Neeson/Anthony Hopkins
10. Hugh Laurie/Robert Sean Leonard (both of these men get lumped together because I think they are both very talented actors, but I've not seen a whole lot of either of them -- Laurie is based on House, and Sense and Sensibility, and Leonard is based on House, Dead Poet's Society, and Chelsea Walls)
::Actresses:: (same system as actors)
1. Kate Winslet
2. Cate Blanchett
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Julianne Moore
5. Emma Thompson
-----------------
6. Gwyneth Paltrow
7. Nicole Kidman
8. Robin Wright Penn
9. Miranda Otto/Michelle Pfeiffer
10. Emily Mortimer/Emily Watson/Samantha Morton (these three actress are in the same boat as Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard --- I think all three of them are talented, but I can only base that opinion on a small number of movies for each of them, so I have lumped them together as well)
Not exactly ten. But close enough.
Monday, June 19, 2006
rambling along
Two months from today I will be flying to Los Angeles. I'm trying desperately not to be nervous.
I am working on a really hard Sudoku.. but it's a level 5 so I guess that makes sense. My brain is feeling challenged -- always good.
I realized that I watched a movie every day last week. I don't know whether to feel satisifed or ashamed.
I really love being an aunt. More than I think I would love being a mom right now. That's probably a good thing, I would imagine, seeing as I have no plans for being pregnant any time soon.
I have met four really great girls -- Nicole, Tabitha, Elaine, and Nicah -- who I'm probably going to be sharing an apartment with in Los Angeles. I enjoy all of the them so far, and I hope this is an indication of how my semester is going to go.
I am going to be working on a film this summer with an aquaintance from Kitchener. I will probably be holding cords and getting him coffee. But I will be on a set. And I will be learning.
God is still good.
I am working on a really hard Sudoku.. but it's a level 5 so I guess that makes sense. My brain is feeling challenged -- always good.
I realized that I watched a movie every day last week. I don't know whether to feel satisifed or ashamed.
I really love being an aunt. More than I think I would love being a mom right now. That's probably a good thing, I would imagine, seeing as I have no plans for being pregnant any time soon.
I have met four really great girls -- Nicole, Tabitha, Elaine, and Nicah -- who I'm probably going to be sharing an apartment with in Los Angeles. I enjoy all of the them so far, and I hope this is an indication of how my semester is going to go.
I am going to be working on a film this summer with an aquaintance from Kitchener. I will probably be holding cords and getting him coffee. But I will be on a set. And I will be learning.
God is still good.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
But the greatest of these is.
Leave me alone so I won't try to
Open my body to your claws as you
Vie for my affection and
Eat my senses into overdrive.
Open my body to your claws as you
Vie for my affection and
Eat my senses into overdrive.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
daydream
These people are the only living things that make me actually want to be admitted to a hospital. Sigh. If only life worked that way.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Eating habits
I don't think people know what a blessing it is to be able to eat a normal meal. To be able to finish a hamburger, fries, and a soft drink -- a normal combo meal at any fastfood restaurant -- and feel satisfied (provided it's not mcdonald's -- because then you're just asking for indigestion) and contently full or maybe still hungry. I used to be like that. There was a time when I would eat a combo meal and still have room for dessert. The last time I clearly remember being able to do that was in grade seven -- around 8 or 9 years ago.
If I was allowed to change one thing about my body, just one, I wouldn't ask to be shorter, or to have a better back, or to have the ability to tan (although all of those would be tempting).. I would ask for a new digestive system.
Anyone who has lived with me or who has been friends with me for a significant period of time knows that I don't eat very much. Well, to quote Winnie the Pooh -- I would, if I could, but I can't. Around grade eight/grade nine, my appetite started to decrease, by which I mean that I found I couldn't eat as much during a meal before I'd start feeling full. Accompanied to that was that I was randomly getting bad indigestion about a 1/2 hour after meals. This steadily got worse throughout highschool to the point where I'd be camping out in the bathroom after meals about 4-5 times a week. Fast forward to the present. Now, I feel sick probably about once a day. I have about 5 different kinds of "feeling sick" that I've learn to identify that will hit me randomly so it's impossble to monitor and control. If I were to order a combo at a fastfood restaurant (that would be a feat in of itself because I can't even eat fastfood anymore) I would barely be able to finish the hamburger by itself, let alone the fries and drink. The thought of dessert wouldn't even cross my mind.
I'm not writing this blog to gain sympathy or as a "woe is me" complaint. I'm frustrated. I want people to understand that when I go to a restaurant and don't order anything except water, it's not because I'm on some diet (so don't look at me with scorn because "oh yeah like you need to diet") or because I'm anorexic, it's because I can't finish anything on the menu, or because I'm feeling nauseous, or becuase it's too late at night or I'm too tired and if I eat I'll feel like I'm going to throw up, or because we're going out somewhere after supper and I don't want to chance food in case I end up spending most of the evening in the bathroom. If I don't feel like going out to some place, it's not because I don't like the company, or because I'm a party-pooper, it's because through out the years, home has become a safe haven for me because I can be sick there as much as I want and not worry about it. This is why watching movies has become one of my most frequent activities -- I can stay at home and my body can just lay down and relax, whether it's sick or not. Going out is stressful, going to a restaurant is stressful, going on trips is stressful, going to evening church is stressful (because we eat before church and you have to sit in a pew for an hour and a 1/2), doing anything new is stressful (my body hates change) -- and the funny thing is, the more stressed my body is, the more likely it will get sick. It's a cycle -- I get stressed that I'm going to get sick, and then I get sick because I'm stressed out about it, which makes me nervous about it again next time. Well, you would say, don't get stressed and you won't get sick... The fun thing about my body is that it can hit at any time.... whether I'm stressed or not.
If I could survive without eating, I would.
I want to be a normal person. Not being able to eat properly has affected so many areas of my life, I feel now that I've come to define myself by it. I feel I've lost so much of who I am because of my body -- I don't take near as many risks, I don't go out and have fun as much and I don't really like to either, I'm stressed so much more, I'm not as fun, and I feel judged all the time because people don't understand (because it just looks like I'm doing it for dietary reasons.. and, well, I'm skinny, so that isn't taken favourably.. ) and I don't feel like explaning to every waitress why I'm not giving them any business or to the group of people I'm with why I'm being so frugal with my money and not ordering anything again. I would love to go visit my cousins for 4 days and not be sick for most of the time I'm there. I would like to be able to eat a meal (or just eat something period) before I go on stage. I would like not to get full on my lunch consisting of a small baggie of crispers, a drink, and a yogurt. I'm sick of people's snide little comments like "oh yeah, I forgot, you're never hungry" or "let me guess, you're not feeling well". I can't control it, I can't help it, and I'm not a big fan of it either. So back off.
I look forward to heaven if for nothing else than for a restored body.
If I was allowed to change one thing about my body, just one, I wouldn't ask to be shorter, or to have a better back, or to have the ability to tan (although all of those would be tempting).. I would ask for a new digestive system.
Anyone who has lived with me or who has been friends with me for a significant period of time knows that I don't eat very much. Well, to quote Winnie the Pooh -- I would, if I could, but I can't. Around grade eight/grade nine, my appetite started to decrease, by which I mean that I found I couldn't eat as much during a meal before I'd start feeling full. Accompanied to that was that I was randomly getting bad indigestion about a 1/2 hour after meals. This steadily got worse throughout highschool to the point where I'd be camping out in the bathroom after meals about 4-5 times a week. Fast forward to the present. Now, I feel sick probably about once a day. I have about 5 different kinds of "feeling sick" that I've learn to identify that will hit me randomly so it's impossble to monitor and control. If I were to order a combo at a fastfood restaurant (that would be a feat in of itself because I can't even eat fastfood anymore) I would barely be able to finish the hamburger by itself, let alone the fries and drink. The thought of dessert wouldn't even cross my mind.
I'm not writing this blog to gain sympathy or as a "woe is me" complaint. I'm frustrated. I want people to understand that when I go to a restaurant and don't order anything except water, it's not because I'm on some diet (so don't look at me with scorn because "oh yeah like you need to diet") or because I'm anorexic, it's because I can't finish anything on the menu, or because I'm feeling nauseous, or becuase it's too late at night or I'm too tired and if I eat I'll feel like I'm going to throw up, or because we're going out somewhere after supper and I don't want to chance food in case I end up spending most of the evening in the bathroom. If I don't feel like going out to some place, it's not because I don't like the company, or because I'm a party-pooper, it's because through out the years, home has become a safe haven for me because I can be sick there as much as I want and not worry about it. This is why watching movies has become one of my most frequent activities -- I can stay at home and my body can just lay down and relax, whether it's sick or not. Going out is stressful, going to a restaurant is stressful, going on trips is stressful, going to evening church is stressful (because we eat before church and you have to sit in a pew for an hour and a 1/2), doing anything new is stressful (my body hates change) -- and the funny thing is, the more stressed my body is, the more likely it will get sick. It's a cycle -- I get stressed that I'm going to get sick, and then I get sick because I'm stressed out about it, which makes me nervous about it again next time. Well, you would say, don't get stressed and you won't get sick... The fun thing about my body is that it can hit at any time.... whether I'm stressed or not.
If I could survive without eating, I would.
I want to be a normal person. Not being able to eat properly has affected so many areas of my life, I feel now that I've come to define myself by it. I feel I've lost so much of who I am because of my body -- I don't take near as many risks, I don't go out and have fun as much and I don't really like to either, I'm stressed so much more, I'm not as fun, and I feel judged all the time because people don't understand (because it just looks like I'm doing it for dietary reasons.. and, well, I'm skinny, so that isn't taken favourably.. ) and I don't feel like explaning to every waitress why I'm not giving them any business or to the group of people I'm with why I'm being so frugal with my money and not ordering anything again. I would love to go visit my cousins for 4 days and not be sick for most of the time I'm there. I would like to be able to eat a meal (or just eat something period) before I go on stage. I would like not to get full on my lunch consisting of a small baggie of crispers, a drink, and a yogurt. I'm sick of people's snide little comments like "oh yeah, I forgot, you're never hungry" or "let me guess, you're not feeling well". I can't control it, I can't help it, and I'm not a big fan of it either. So back off.
I look forward to heaven if for nothing else than for a restored body.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Law and Order Cambridge?
Downtown Cambridge (well, downtown Galt to be more precise-- where my work is located) is an area full of very interesting people. Last year there was an old homeless lady who had a necklace with a cross on it. She walked up and down the street and if she came up to a tree or a sewer, she would stand beside it and bless it by making circular and crosslike movements with her necklace over it. She would do this for a good 15 minutes before moving on to the next item that needed blessing. We had one holy downtown area all summer.
Today we experienced a real life Law and Order situation. Across the street from our building are these ratty looking apartments that hold all kinds of interesting people. Lately there have been these teenagers that will go into the street and yell up to this one apartment (they are all at least one story above ground). I've seen them do this a number of times when I come out of work. Well, yesterday there were these two guys and a girl who were down there yelling up to the apartment and the girl was crying.. I guess they got let in becuase they went off around the corner after a little bit. But today they were back. The one guy and the girl were in their pj's, and it looked like the two guys were going to take each other out. The girl was crying and trying to break them up. She managed to get them off of each other, but for the next 10-20 minutes they were walking around our building yelling at each other and waving their arms around and pushing each other (well, really the dressed guy was yelling at the pj guy and pushing him around). The girl just kept crying and looked rather helpless. The pj couple finally walked off. About a couple minutes later the police showed up. There were numerous cop cars and a pattywagon on the street -- unfortunately all the police stuff happened around the corner so we couldn't see what went on. We have been under the suspicion for a while now that that apartment has been dealing drugs.. (we keep ourselves entertained by playing dectective -- we have suspicions about all kinds of people on this street) because there's a window in that apartment that is never open and even when the blind comes up a little, there's cardboard behind it.... oh yeah. they're druggies.
Things have calmed down now, but we're still hoping that the police will be back and they'll bust the place. But it was pretty exciting.. we had police up and down the street talking to people. They didn't come in here. But it was still cool.
Well, time to wait for the next bit of excitement.. maybe the girl that we strongly suspect to be a hooker will come strutting by soon and make a pass on someone...
Today we experienced a real life Law and Order situation. Across the street from our building are these ratty looking apartments that hold all kinds of interesting people. Lately there have been these teenagers that will go into the street and yell up to this one apartment (they are all at least one story above ground). I've seen them do this a number of times when I come out of work. Well, yesterday there were these two guys and a girl who were down there yelling up to the apartment and the girl was crying.. I guess they got let in becuase they went off around the corner after a little bit. But today they were back. The one guy and the girl were in their pj's, and it looked like the two guys were going to take each other out. The girl was crying and trying to break them up. She managed to get them off of each other, but for the next 10-20 minutes they were walking around our building yelling at each other and waving their arms around and pushing each other (well, really the dressed guy was yelling at the pj guy and pushing him around). The girl just kept crying and looked rather helpless. The pj couple finally walked off. About a couple minutes later the police showed up. There were numerous cop cars and a pattywagon on the street -- unfortunately all the police stuff happened around the corner so we couldn't see what went on. We have been under the suspicion for a while now that that apartment has been dealing drugs.. (we keep ourselves entertained by playing dectective -- we have suspicions about all kinds of people on this street) because there's a window in that apartment that is never open and even when the blind comes up a little, there's cardboard behind it.... oh yeah. they're druggies.
Things have calmed down now, but we're still hoping that the police will be back and they'll bust the place. But it was pretty exciting.. we had police up and down the street talking to people. They didn't come in here. But it was still cool.
Well, time to wait for the next bit of excitement.. maybe the girl that we strongly suspect to be a hooker will come strutting by soon and make a pass on someone...
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