summer.

And another semester has come and gone.

Sigh.

I suck at blogging.

But now: the SUMMER! And I hope to write -- at least for no other reason that to be writing and keep up the practice.

Did I mention that I'm not a huge fan of the summer? I mean, I love the season, but working!? Not a huge fan. I miss my Studio classmates and the people I love in Vancouver, though I am loving being around my family here. But I have decided that I can't live life pining to be other places -- I have to experience the now where I am, not where I want to be. Being at home has much to offer and I have much exploring to do while I'm here. So I'm going to try to use this time wisely.

Okay.

Also! Instead of buying a journal for the summer, I bought a sketchbook! I'm excited to use it! I want to use it for writing, but I thought with the blank sheets I can be open to much more than writing... I think I'm going to try and go somewhere once a week and write. I'm not going to get any better unless I keep working on it. We'll see.

I have to open myself up to my creativity. I have this conception of how good I am or what I am capable of. But this only limits my potential! I have so much to give! So much talent to explore! I received 'The Artist's Way' for my birthday -- I think that and 'Freeing the Natural Voice' will be good reading for this summer.

the BiG update

eeessssshhh.
Okay, okay, the whole resurrecting the blog thing didn't work out so well. Who knew Studio would be that busy?
But maybe I can make more of an effort this semester. Shorter posts perhaps. Snippets.
I'm not making any promises.
So what's going on with my life now? Well, I have made it through A-term at Studio and am now onto B-term! I'm very proud of myself for all the work that I did in my first semester, and all the highs and lows that I got through. What a semester. Seriously. The major points: I had huge issues with my lower back, to the point where half way through the semester they recommended that I leave Studio to heal and then come back when I could do the work without worry or pain. I didn't... and managed to push through to the end of the semester with the help of my chiropractor and my teachers. I am so so so thankful I did. I came out with a much deeper knowledge of my back and what's going on there than if I had stepped out of the program. To top it off, my mime final (which is quite physically demanding -- I wouldn't have been able to do it in the middle of the semester) was one of four chosen to be presented to the whole school --- very very exciting and something I am SOOOOO proud of!!! Despite all this, at the end of the semester they told me to take this coming semester off because they were worried about the movement work in B-term (that my back wouldn't be able to handle it)... After talking with my movement teachers and my chiropractor, and my chiropractor talking to my movement teachers, it was finally decided that I will continue on to B-term.
So here I am!
There's still a lot of pressure for this semester and I'm nervous as all get out, as everything gets a whole lot busier (yes. even busier than last term... we have all the same classes plus three more) and there's a whole lot more expected of me. But I am taking it one day at a time.
What I'm working on right now: I'm in a scene from The Shape Of Things, which is fabulous... for those of you who know the play/movie, I'm playing Evelyn (Rachel Weisz's character) at the end of the play, when Adam confronts her about her "art project". It's crazy fun, but really challenging.
I'm also starting to write my powersong -- it's a class you take in B-term where you write a song that tells how you got to where you are -- the things have happened in your life that have shaped you into the person you are. It should prove to be an amazing class though definitely stretching.
We also have playwriting this semester with Aaron Bushkowsky -- a prominent Canadian playwright. I'm really excited about this class!
That's all at the moment.
Oh, the weather in Vancouver right now is gross. Their snow removal system here is ridiculously bad. But I'm enjoying wearing my bright yellow rain boots!!! And jumping in big puddles!

once upon a time...

eeesh. August 2007.
Sooooooo it's been a while. I suppose it's time to awaken the slumbering blog. I mean, no one really complained much that it was on a hiatus, but I am in a new place and away from everyone I love. So I guess this will be good. It may help me sift through things too... though I have to write in a journal every day for class so I'm hoping it won't feel to redundant.
Anyways.
Vancouver!
I have been here for almost 2 weeks now and there is a part of me that feels like it's been 2 months. And yet the city still feels so new, and my room is still not together, and I'm still constantly adjusting. Studio 58 is unlike anything that I've ever experienced before. Every day I come home wishing that everyone could take the classes I'm taking, that everyone should stretch every day and get in touch with the beautiful thing that is the body. I am so grateful to be here, though every morning I wake up nervous and sore and unsure. Before I got here, I bought an ipod Touch and on the back I have a quote by Annie Dillard: "All day long, I feel created." When I found that quote it didn't mean that much to me, I just thought it was beautiful. But since starting Studio--- it is strange how often that quote truly describes how I feel. I feel created. I feel molded. I feel stretched. I feel like I'm being peeled open. And it's really hard, tiring, revealing work. I am constantly having to turn off my censors, push myself to work harder, step over my fears, and commit. It's scary. But entirely worth it.
Okay, I have to go write in my journal, memorize lines, and practice my mime. I will update again soon. Maybe give you a flavour for a day at Studio. Or tell you about my wonderful roomies (all 7 of them!). Or talk about the sites of Vancouver. Or moan and complain about how tired and sore I am. Probably the latter. :)
Love and sunshine.

Eagles and Children

As some of you may or may not know, I love films. I love watching them, talking about them, researching them -- you name it. Along with all that, I also love reading/hearing what other people have to say about films, including Christian film critics who appreciate film as an art medium and base their critique on artisitic merit as well as moral content. One man that does this is Jeffery Overstreet. He writes reviews for ChristianityTodayMovies.com, Response Magazine, his own website "LookingCloser.com," as well as various other magazines and publications. He also has a book called "Through a Screen Darkly", which is a fantastic book for any film lover, and is coming out with his first novel, "Auralia's Colours". I found his reviews shortly after I really started to get into film. Before that, Christian movie reviews meant a list of swear words, violence, alcohol, etc.. Jeffrey approaches film with the big picture in mind -- what does a film say about God and our relationship with him, how does art fit into our worldview, etc.. Of course, he isn't the only one -- artsandfaith.com is a great website where many Christians gather to discuss film, music, visual art, books, and a variety of other topics.
So why all this discussion about Jeffrey. Well, he has a new blog. And it's called "The Eagle and Child" -- the very same name as my blog! :) In the spirit of the pub where Tolkien, Lewis, and others met to discuss their art, Jeffrey's blog hosts his conversations with artists and people of faith about their art, their lives, and their inspirations. Very cool. You can find it at eagleandchild.wordpress.com. Since we now share the same blog name (what are the odds of that -- seriously!), I thought I'd take the opportunity to plug his stuff and give everyone a little heads up. So feel free to have a pint at The Eagle and Child across the border, and tell him Steph sent you! :)

Oh those brits

So lately I've been going through a British TV phase. It started with the British version of The Office. Brilliant. So funny and yet so awkward and so completely different from the American version. From there, I started watching A Bit of Fry and Laurie (seriously, how much do I love Hugh Laurie) and Extras (how much do I love Ricky Gervais)... and now, through the suggestions of my brother and sister-in-law, I've been watching Jeeves and Wooster, and I'm hooked on The IT Crowd. Trish and I also spent the way home from New Jersey listening to the Hitchhiker's Guild to the Galaxy radio series.
It's a crying shame that there's only six episodes per season there. But I guess that's the European way vs. the American way: quality vs. quantity.

Okay, okay, so I'm exaggerating a little. We can't forget House.

I should really write something.

If Google (not the people behind Google) was a living, breathing person, I think I would date him. I mean, how handy would he be. He'd always keep in touch, he'd store all my stuff for me, he'd be really smart because he browses all kinds of books and articles, but he'd also be willing to share it with me, he'd always know where he's going and where on the earth he's located, and he'd be really good at finding things. I think it would be a great match.
I am loving Google at this moment. A trip to my brother's does that -- revives my appreciation in technology. :)

On a completely different note, today at work I had to punch in the order number of the files I was scanning before I scanned them. Today's files all started with three 0's and then either 8,7, or 6. So in punching that in, I would hear 'beep beep beep.. beep'. Which made me think of Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 everytime I punched an order number into the scanner. I had Beethoven's 5th in my head most of the day.
I've had worse things in my head.

new leaves

I am by nature a lazy person. This is what I have come to realize about myself. I think I've known this for quite some time, but never really wanted to admit it, because, let's be honest, who actually wants to admit that they're lazy. But I am -- it's out. Well, maybe it's not so much about being lazy as it is about having a lack of motivation. Are those two things interchangable? I don't know exactly, but I do know that I can not tell you the amount of times I have decided to do something and then quit within a couple weeks -- diets, flossing, excercising, homework, reading... etc. I know I'm not alone on this one, but it's starting to get irritating.
So with one semester left at Redeemer, I have decided that I am going to make this a good one. I hestitate to say "my best semester yet" because I don't rate my semesters based on my motivation level, but I hope to start and maintain certain disciplines for my last semester. One of those things is exercising. After Redeemer is done I will be auditioning for some top knotch theatre schools, and being fit (or at least a good mile on the road to being fit) would be good. I don't know if they look for that specifically but I know it is definately beneficial. Another is homework. I am already on that one, as I am reading novels for my classes during the summer. But with only four classes this semester, rather than five, there is lots of room to be on top of my reading and start working on my essays in advance rather than the night before. While I have done the night before thing my entire university career, this past semester I definately felt hindered by it because it didn't allow me to engage the material as much as I would have liked. I am really looking forward to all my english classes this semester so I would like to come out feeling like I actually took on what was being taught and worked with it to the best of my ability.
Also, I am going to set aside certain times to practice for voice lessons, learn lines (if I get into the play), and work on my audition pieces. These things can easily get put to the side because homework is more pressing, but if I can stay on top of everything else...
Why am I writing about this in my blog? I'm not quite sure. Maybe putting it in writing provides a sense of solidity to my plans and gives me more motivation to keep them. Maybe it's a sense of accountability. I don't know.
Don't get me wrong, fun is still to be had, and there will be lots of that, but I want to come out of this semester knowing that I earned the marks that I got and that I applied myself throughout the semester. I really really hope that this happens. I think I make this resolution every September, but I feel like this one might be different. Perhaps because it's my last one?

So many films, so little time.

Well, now that I'm back from my vacation in Los Angeles and on a film high... here are some things that are keeping me excited:

!TORONTO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL!
Ever since I have realized that this week of film joy and glee is right in my backyard and why the crap haven't I ever gone, I have been in either the U.S. or in Europe while it's going on and so I have never been. But this year? I am HERE. And I am GOING.
Some early film festival highlights:
No Country For Old Men -- The Coen brothers' new film, supposedly one of their best so far. Fun.
Elizabeth: The Golden Age -- I saw the trailer for this a couple months ago and it looks like it's going to be a fun one. I love Cate Blanchett and Geoffrey Rush.
Fugitive Pieces -- This is the opener for the festival, adapted from Anne Michael's book. Both film and book are Canadian. I'm quite excited about it. Now I have to go go reread the book.
There's also a good list of foreign films that I'm excited to discover. Juliette Binoche is in one of them -- Le Voyage du Ballon Rouge. I don't even really need to know what it's about...

!FILMS!
There are a bunch of films coming up from some of my favourite directors... mmm.
Lars Von Trier -- The Boss of It All. Von Trier goes comedy! Being one of my favourite directors, I'm very curious at how he handles a comedy since much of his well known stuff is.. well.. not so much funny. The trailer was funny so I can only hope that the movie is as well... so far, I've heard good things!
Wes Anderson -- The Darjeeling Limited. I couldn't be more excited that Wes Anderson has a new film. While bringing back some of his regulars (Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Anjelica Huston, and a rumour of the return of Bill Murray), there are a few new faces to the crew (Adrien Brody joins Wilson and Schwartzman to make the subject trio of the film, Natalie Portman also stars). With actors like these, I'm sure Anderson can do wonders...
Woody Allen -- Cassandra's Dream. I really don't know anything about it. But it's Woody Allen.
David Cronenberg -- Eastern Promises. While Cronenberg is not one of my favourite directors, I did love A History of Violence, and this film stars Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts -- two actors I enjoy exceedingly. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about Viggo's accent... but trailers can only tell you so much.
Peter Jackson -- The Lovely Bones. One of my favourite books is coming to the big screen with Rachel Weisz as the mother and Ryan Gosling as the father. Fantastic start. Let's just hope he finds a young gem to play Susie.

!SPEAKING OF BOOKS!
Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children -- a book and film that I love -- is working on another book: The Abstinence Teacher. This book is already set to be a film (both of his other books, Little Children and Election, have been made into films) and will be directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, the director duo of Little Miss Sunshine.

LA Film Festival highlights to come!

and a month later...

So again with the no blog updates. Let's just say that the internet is no longer available at work. So that means that there is little to no time to blog. Crummy, but true.
For those of you wondering what I'm doing with my life, I am currently at the start of day 8 of my trip back to Los Angeles. I don't really feel like saying too much about it, to be honest, because I'm not in a blogging mood, but I figured I should update to at least let you know that I'm in LA right now. I've been staying with some friends here (which has been fantastic) and I'm volunteering at the LA Film Festival. A really great experience -- tons of film geeks, lots of movies -- it's a good time. I've also managed to take in a couple sights that I didn't get to last year... I ate at Pink's Famous Hot Dog stand, I walked down Rodeo Dr. and I think I'm going up to the Hollywood Sign at some point. I've also have done quite a bit with Ecclesia Hollywood, my church down here. It hurts to have to leave it again, because I just feel so at home at that church among those people... some people even remembered me even though I had only talked to them maybe twice.
Okay, well, I just got up so I should go find some food for breakfast. Mmmm.

don't feel like a title for this

I bought 'Thank You For Smoking' the other day. It made me happy.
Also, today, while driving to church, I passed a car that had a toilet on its roof. The toilet was sitting upright, without any straps or anything. Bizarre.
Oh and did you know that the first Star Wars movie came out on May 25, 1977? So that means that on this past friday, Star Wars had it's 30th Anniversary! All freaky. All true.

Park this!

Okay so I work in downtown Galt (Cambridge is made up of three small towns -- Galt, Preston, and Hespeler -- I live in Galt). Downtown Galt is very picturesque, though a bit shady, but on the whole a very nice area... lots of old buildings, little shops, you know. But poeple don't really come down here too often. It's kind of a dying area of Cambridge. So the city decided that in order to boost the liveliness of this area, they would build City Hall in downtown Galt. Great. Kind of an ugly building but hey, not a terrible plan. Now here's where I start getting frustrated. Downtown does not have a lot of parking. For the past two years that I've worked here I have parked in this free parking lot up the street from where I work. It was a little bit of a walk, but not terrible, and I could park there all day. Now that city hall is there, that parking lot has been claimed for the people who work at City Hall. First problem -- I no longer have a parking spot. So I look for another one. But here's the most retarded thing: the city made all parking in downtown Galt 2 hours only. If you park on the street, you can only park there for two hours, for the WHOLE DAY. So if you have a doctor's apt and you park on the street, then go home, and come back a couple hours later to go shopping (again, parking on the street) you could get a parking ticket. Luckily for me, the parking lots (particularly the one right beside my work) are still 2 hours, but if you wipe off the chalk mark and move your vehicle every two hours, they can't ticket you. So that is what I have to do for the rest of the summer. Every two hours I have to go move my car to a different spot in the parking lot. This is RIDICULOUS. If Cambridge really wants people to start coming down to Galt, this is NOT the way to do it. I know, people are not really interested in the parking situation in downtown Galt, but when you spend ten minutes one morning trying to find a parking lot where I can park all day and then have to resort to moving my vehicle every 2 hours, knowing that one day I'm going to forget and then I'm going to get a freaking parking ticket... it's rather maddening. And so I write about it here. Woot.

Shakespeare and me

So it's been pointed out to me on a number of occasions that I haven't updated in a while. This is true. I have written a couple of "let's update my blog!" blogs.. but somehow they never ended up being finished. So this one will. Because I am at work and have nothing else to do (besides eating my lunch, which is what I am also doing). Another reason I haven't been blogging is because I really haven't been home. After finishing all brutal essays, portfolios, and exams, I went home for the weekend. Then I worked at Redeemer for a week, while also going to rehearsals and painting sets for The Complete Works show. The following two weeks were the show, the show and nothing but the show (except for one day in which I worked 12 hours straight at Redeemer -- so gross). And now that is done and so I am in Cambridge, working at my lovely office job. Fun times.
So the show. Was FANTASTIC. I pity anyone who couldn't come out to see it. We played six nights and two matinées. Of those six nights, three sold out and the other three were over half full. The matinées were full high school audiences. And we were doing it. We were working as a professional (albeit amateur) theatre company. And in all flippin' honesty, I couldn't have asked for a more AMAZING group of people to work with. I remember thinking once while we were working around the theatre: "I am so lucky" and by lucky I mean blessed abundantly. We worked so well together and we just had a ton of fun. The guys got praised up the wazoo for their work and they totally deserved it, and of course the ladies in the company just smiled because we know they couldn't have done much without us. :) Oh yeah. So the experience was fantastic and now we're taking some time for the summer and figuring out what we want to do next. You better believe that I will be on stage for the next show!

Final(e)s

Two exams done. One essay (3500 words -- due monday), one creative writing portfolio (I have to write 10 more poems and edit the other 15 I've written -- due tuesday), and one more exam (wednesday) to go. I just might die.

If I'm going to be writing a 3500 word English essay I might as well do so with Mozart's Requiem resounding thunderously in my ears. Oh yeah.

Rather fitting...

More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com

Spoiler Warning

Okay so I saw The Holiday for the first time last night. And it's been bothering me ever since.
It wasn't the fact that it was a chick flick, or that it was a terrible movie. In fact, this movie had a lot of really great things going for it -- Kate Winslet and her whole story, the fact that Jude Law is a dad and not a player, Kate Winslet, the old man, the settings of Surrey and Los Angeles (England and LA in one film.. love it).... all good things that I really enjoyed. Most impressive was the realistic (in a sense -- how "real" are chickflicks anyway) nature of Kate Winslet and Jack Black's story and how they don't immediately fall into bed, but grow in their relationship... really refreshing and wonderful roles for both Winslet and Black.
So that's all good.... but what irked (urked? erked?) me was the other story line -- between Amanda (Cameron Diaz) and Graham (Jude Law). On their first encounter, they jump immediately into bed because she says that he's drunk, really attractive, and probably won't remember her so why not just have sex? What kind of screwed up logic is that? Then they sleep together again (but not have sex)..... after this, they decide that they might want to start a relationship. Then after making out through most of the movie, they have sex again, after which Graham tells her that he loves her. She never really says that she loves him back. And in the end, she stays in London for New Years and they're a happy couple and we're all supposed to be happy for them that it's going to work out and they're going to be a wonderful couple.. Granted, one should be used to misguided morals in chickflicks and it should be no surprise that sex is involved (and it isn't).. but maybe what got me frustrated was that this story was right along side the other one, which was so healthy in its portrayal, and both were presented as good "this-is-all-going-to-work-out" relationships.. I mean, for heaven's sake, Amanda actually cries over Graham!! It's got to mean that it's going to work!! :S But how messed up is the relationship between these two?? I mean, before they even are in a relationship or acknowledge that they'd like to start one, they've had sex... and when he finally says that he loves her, they've already had sex a number of times and slept together a number of times. And this relationship is supposed to be complicated, but healthy??? I know that this is normal in our society, and I guess I wouldn't be so frustrated with it if the other relationship wasn't alongside of this one... but it made me mad. What kind of model are they presenting here?
Okay, I should stop and work on my presentation for class. But I just needed to vent.

Life goal..... check!

Last night was a monumental occasion in my life. Yes, I was able to cross off the very first of my life goals! Years ago I vowed that before I died, I would see Les Miserable and The Phantom of the Opera on the stage (Lord willing o' course). Well, last summer my mom and I went to see Les Mis (fabulous experience) and last night, my family and I saw The Phantom of the Opera!!!!!!!! It was aaaaaaammmmmmmaaaaazzzzziiiiinnnngggggg. There's something so unique about seeing it on the stage. It was so incredible, especially the Phantom, which was interesting because he was an understudy. But, man, his voice was beautiful and powerful and just wonderful to listen to. Christine was a little too operatic for my liking... I tend to think that Christine's voice should be more pure.. the dudes who ran the theatre were also fantastic. There were tons of comedic moments in the play that were definately not in the movie... so great. mmmmmmmmm... what an experience!!!!
It was also my birthday this past week. It was probably the worst time ever to have a birthday since I had pulled an all-nighter on the sunday night to get a paper done and had two more due on the thursday... but my friends/sister definately spoiled me! :) My roomies invited a whole bunch of people over (I had no idea they were going to do this), and my sister surprised me by showing up (I was supposed to go to her house later on)... and there was cake and fellowship and presents... It was definately a nice break in my week, even though I should have been doing work. :) The best was the fact that one of my friends gave me a used deoderant stick for my present. Seriously. I laughed so hard when he gave it too me... I have the weirdest friends! haha I love it. Good birthday.

hrumph

So I have 15 minutes (crap, now 14) to write this blog because I am fooling myself into believing that I have 15.. er.. 14 minutes to spare before going back to my paper. grrrr.. school.
Antigone is done. Hurrah. I wish I could say that I feel some sort of sadness about the whole thing, but I don't. It was a good experience, but I'm quite happy it's over. The run was rewarding though, and we got a very good response -- the audience was full every night which was fun -- so that was really great. It always amazes me that you can work so hard for three months on something that is shown for a bloody week and then it's over. All that time!! Sheesh.
I am starting the process of thinking about my life after Redeemer........... SO MUCH STUFF!!!! EEEKKK! I could do anything right now! My life is sooo open to possibilities, it's rather overwhelming. Audition for National Theatre School/George Brown. Apply for my MFA. Work in theatre companies. Move to LA. Teach ESL in Asia. Get my Dutch citizenship and move to Europe. What do I do?????
I wish I had motivation. That would really be nice.
Alright, well, enough with the procrastination -- on with my paper. John Donne anyone? :S

It's not too late!

To see Redeemer's ANTIGONE. I play Choragos. It's pretty awesome.
The show is performing friday night and saturday night yet, at 7:30.
In other news, I would really love it if my body would stop being nauseous all day. And maybe it could stop with the lightheadedness too. That would be good. It definately make acting and paper writing a lot easier.

because now I know

You are all welcome to attend:

She That Loved the Spring
A One Act Play
by Stephanie Elgersma

On stage for the first time at Redeemer University College.
Directed by Allison Bennink

The performances are April 12 at 12:00PM and 7:30PM
In the Black Box at Redeemer.

There will be three other one act plays performed along with mine.... these plays are being put on by the Senior directing class. The running time as a whole should be no longer than 90 minutes. There will be a small fee of admission, but I'm not sure what that is yet though.

bitterness

I will be a fifth year next year. And along with my 300 and 400 level English classes, I will be enrolled in a first year biology class.
Sometimes I feel something close to hatred for a liberal arts education.